Breaking out of the rut

Lately I have been in a rut no matter which I turn I feel like I hit a brick wall. Sadly I have been exploding on all of those around me mainly the ones I love the most. With summer time routines are not in place which is nice, but also has its down side. The down side is they fight going to bed and I am just allowing them to stay up later and later, because it is SUMMER! Plus then I can sleep in with them. :)

With Papa having episodes with his heart it just scares me that I may lose a parent soon and I cannot bare the thought. At times I actually catch myself snapping at people because I just cannot seem to comprehend the concept of him not being there to just call for advice or feel like some ones little girl. Papa is really good to me and Melanie, in some ways he has spoiled us, we just never noticed it, because we are spoiled. LOL

School is almost done and has taken it out of me. I need a small break, but cannot wait to start back up soon. August 22 is my last day with Axia college and then I will have an associates degree in Healthcare administration. Math just happens to be the class I am struggling the most in. Told Will today, again, I need a tutor so bad just to point out to me what I am doing wrong. Thinking about putting an ad on Craigslist or looking through to see if I can find someone.

Sleep isn't coming as easy lately lots on my mind and so that makes things even worse because I am moody when awake and emotional. The determination of breaking out of this rut needs to happen soon, I am a happy person who loves to smile and be in a good mood all the time. When I am upset for too long or sad too much I don't recognize myself. Here's to the new week, Mondays you can always get a fresh start.... :)